all of the colour in the night

Happy new year! Just thought I'd better update before I go overseas in about.. 6.5 hours, heh
(Also I don't really post much personal stuff here but hey, why not - I'll leave that to the end)




My attempt at different facial structures, from which I quickly became distracted



As you can see by my lifelong somewhat-obsessive-compulsive dating habits my one-page-a-day didn't quite work out this week h-haha to be fair I was at the beach all of yesterday and bowling the day before and today has just been hectic and I'm going out for dinner in less than an hour too.. but the rest of 2012, I swear. No excuses.

Two old pieces that I didn't really post anywhere haha, I think back in 2008?


The three Christmas pictures I did this year seemed to have a bit of a theme haha (read: I couldn't think of anything better)

Okayy so onto my personal spiel: the past few days I've been really motivated to actually get good at art (thanks to Stephen Silver's artcast, Bobby Chiu, realising how much I didn't improve last year and how I'm nearly 19 and I wanted to be so much better by now than I am, and entire days spent pining after art books*), it actually feels pretty great haha! The only problem: I don't know what direction I want to go in. I think this has always been my problem (which probably led to the falling-apart of my aspirations of studying animation at RMIT, as well as my art-related goals entirely) and it's no longer viable to carry on directionless; do I want to concentrate on detailed illustration? something more cartoony? animation? Sure, I can dabble in everything but I know that without a general focus I'm not going to get anywhere, haha. So this is my main issue now and to be honest I'm not sure what to do.
(*I did end up spending $28 on the two cheapest art books I could find haha, one for LotR and one for Surf's Up - at that point I restrained myself because that is a lot of money! ..to me)

Anyway, this led to some new years resolutions: fill at least one sketchbook page a day (not my measly effort last year in which I didn't even fill a 60-page A5 sketchbook), experiment more with traditional media, and figure out what the heck I want to focus on so I can stop moping so much and focus more on.. biomed......... (sigh)

On the topic of uni though, Melbourne is miraculously offering an animation subject in February which I can take as breadth for my course and I was so thrilled, I immediately jumped on it (even though it cancelled out any chance of me going to Helsinki for exchange nooo) and I'm really looking forward to it! It sounds more like experimental animation but I'm not going to be picky; any opportunity to learn anything art-related in a proper teaching environment is a real godsend. ...just not sure what they mean by "a sketchbook equivalent to 1000 words" haha isn't one picture worth 1000 words... anyway I'm a little apprehensive but super excited yay

Actually I do have another major issue apart from lack of direction, which is lack of creativity. As a kid my head constantly buzzed with so many ideas that I couldn't get them down fast enough - now everything I draw is unoriginal, uninspired and just.. frustrating. I don't think my massive fanart phase helped. So my creative muscle has nearly deteriorated entirely and I have no clue how to exercise it; everything I draw still looks so flat and dull compared to the amazing ideas that other artists churn out. (I know comparisons are unhealthy when it comes to skill level, but is it the same for creativity levels? hmm) And when I see all those really nifty stylish illustrations with cool colours and shapes and ideas that look so simple but detailed (yeah, those ones) or even just sketches and to top it all off, most of them are by people younger than me. Hahaha. I wanted to be at least decent by 19 but that really didn't happen and the fact I know it's my fault doesn't help ??

But uh that slid down the feared negativity path a bit too much so I think that's all on the art front for now. Hopefully when I return from my trip I'll have heaps of stuff to post but I feel that saying that might jinx it hahaha
(wait, on a minor note I was passed the contact details of an art director at Volta who is a family friend's friend - as cool as it is though, I'm definitely not at that skill level/field. Not to mention there's kind of an ocean or two in the way. A bit like when my mum met a guy who was a director at VCA and who knew professors at.. CalArts..... just the mention of the name made me drop everything sighhhh California words cannot describe my envy)

And a final resolution: post more often to avoid these massive entries.
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